It seems my thoughts keep returning to Great Expectations. No, not the book, the idea.
I've been thinking about how people have expectations of us and how we try to live up to them, even our own expectations of ourselves. People have expectations based on what they think they know about us and what they think we can accomplish. Some people think that people will live up to the expectations that we have of them (if we set the bar high, people will try harder, if we set the bar low, people will only attain that level of achievement). When and if we fail, the view people have of us is tainted, respect is lost and it's difficult to regain.
We want people to like us and respect us and to think highly of our abilities but really, is that realistic?
God knows us completely, He knows our skills and what we can do. If we fail, He has mercy and grace to forgive us and He's there to help us try again. His expectations are high but He's there to lean on and help us through.
I prefer to live up to His expectations and even fail and try again for Him because God is just and fair and His discipline, though hard, is always exactly right and consistent.
My Dad always quotes St. Augustine:
"Love God and do what you like"
because if you love Him, really love Him, you would only do what pleases Him and for no other reason. Not because someone's watching, or someone might think badly of me, just because it pleases Him and for no other reason.
When I remember that my self consciousness disappears and I can simply be who I am, because that's who He made me to be anyway.
I guess that's what He's been trying to tell me..."Who's expectations are you trying to live up to? Who's praise really matters? Who are you living for?"
Only Him.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Thursday, August 31, 2006
I have a few things that I wanted to write about, but as usual, when I have a moment to write something all the things that I wanted to say are suddenly gone. I hate that.
I know the first thing was about a song that I used to sing in church when I was a kid. I think it was written by St. Francis of Assisi. How did it go again...? Darn! Those Cheetah girls are singing in the background, how can you remember a song when another song is being sung? Baaaah! Oh...forget it!
I'll talk about shoe day. I was thinking about Em heading to school and I wanted to make sure she could put on her shoes without assistance, I also thought it was high time that Sir David learned to tie his shoes. So...I declared it shoe day.
Em and David weren't so thrilled about shoe day, especially not in the midst of it...A lot of frustration and tears...but we persevered and made it through successfully, nay triumphantly! My children are so proud of their accomplishments and will gladly show you how it's done at a moments notice. So go ahead and ask them.
Today was the third day that we visited the school. Today was just to see the class lists and who all the kids were in their classes. Yesterday we went to see the class lists, but they weren't posted yet. David asked if we could go see the classrooms anyway (he was so disappointed) so we walked upstairs and saw his teacher from last year. She was so happy to see us because David was going to be in her class...YAY! We really like her a lot and we were able to find out David's teacher and tour his new classroom when moments before it was such a disappointing trip. We started walking home when David suggested that we visit the kinderpak to see Em's teacher, I told him that it was probably empty and usually locked, but we tried anyway. We knocked on the door and surprise, surprise...a teacher was there...it was Em's teacher...we got to meet her...Yay again! Everybody's so excited about starting school. Day number one was just disappointing...no class list and none of the teacher's were divulging anything...oh well, it all turned out for the best, God is good.
Ooh, I remembered the song...I mean hymn...I googled it...
A hymn by St Francis of Assisi:
Make me a channel of your peace:
where there is hatred let me bring your love,
where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
and where there's doubt, true faith in you:
O Master grant that I may never seek
so much to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved, as to love with all my soul!
Make me a channel of your peace:
where there's despair in life let me bring hope,
where there is darkness, only light,
and where there's sadness, ever joy:
Make me a channel of your peace:
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
in giving of ourselves that we receive,
and in dying that we're born to eternal life.
Make me a channel of your peace:
where there is hatred let me bring your love,
where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
and where there's doubt, true faith in you.
I used to sing this all the time but I never really understood the words and when I became a Christian I left my Catholic heritage behind, so I stopped singing this song. It came to my mind the other day while I was painting, it has a pretty melody and I really listened to the words that I was singing, Wow! I never knew...I guess I should have a little more respect for the heritage passed on to me.
I know the first thing was about a song that I used to sing in church when I was a kid. I think it was written by St. Francis of Assisi. How did it go again...? Darn! Those Cheetah girls are singing in the background, how can you remember a song when another song is being sung? Baaaah! Oh...forget it!
I'll talk about shoe day. I was thinking about Em heading to school and I wanted to make sure she could put on her shoes without assistance, I also thought it was high time that Sir David learned to tie his shoes. So...I declared it shoe day.
Em and David weren't so thrilled about shoe day, especially not in the midst of it...A lot of frustration and tears...but we persevered and made it through successfully, nay triumphantly! My children are so proud of their accomplishments and will gladly show you how it's done at a moments notice. So go ahead and ask them.
Today was the third day that we visited the school. Today was just to see the class lists and who all the kids were in their classes. Yesterday we went to see the class lists, but they weren't posted yet. David asked if we could go see the classrooms anyway (he was so disappointed) so we walked upstairs and saw his teacher from last year. She was so happy to see us because David was going to be in her class...YAY! We really like her a lot and we were able to find out David's teacher and tour his new classroom when moments before it was such a disappointing trip. We started walking home when David suggested that we visit the kinderpak to see Em's teacher, I told him that it was probably empty and usually locked, but we tried anyway. We knocked on the door and surprise, surprise...a teacher was there...it was Em's teacher...we got to meet her...Yay again! Everybody's so excited about starting school. Day number one was just disappointing...no class list and none of the teacher's were divulging anything...oh well, it all turned out for the best, God is good.
Ooh, I remembered the song...I mean hymn...I googled it...
A hymn by St Francis of Assisi:
Make me a channel of your peace:
where there is hatred let me bring your love,
where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
and where there's doubt, true faith in you:
O Master grant that I may never seek
so much to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved, as to love with all my soul!
Make me a channel of your peace:
where there's despair in life let me bring hope,
where there is darkness, only light,
and where there's sadness, ever joy:
Make me a channel of your peace:
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
in giving of ourselves that we receive,
and in dying that we're born to eternal life.
Make me a channel of your peace:
where there is hatred let me bring your love,
where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
and where there's doubt, true faith in you.
I used to sing this all the time but I never really understood the words and when I became a Christian I left my Catholic heritage behind, so I stopped singing this song. It came to my mind the other day while I was painting, it has a pretty melody and I really listened to the words that I was singing, Wow! I never knew...I guess I should have a little more respect for the heritage passed on to me.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
"When we have difficulty forgiving ourselves, this is pride at its deepest level. We are making an assumption that we should never have sinned and that we are too mature to sin. This is a trap from the enemy of our souls. People who cannot forgive do not recognize from what they have been forgiven. That includes us." Os Hillman
I always find it uncomfortable when something as insignigicant like unforgiveness for yourself is flipped around and turned into something wrong. It never seemes to be when you're doing it...but to call it pride?
Someone told me once about judging people as greater than you. It's easy to recognize when you judge those that are failing in an area that you excel...but what about those that appear perfect. That's a judgement as well. We don't know anything about them really. Who are we to judge?
Oh Lord, please remind me when I'm too proud to forgive myself.
I always find it uncomfortable when something as insignigicant like unforgiveness for yourself is flipped around and turned into something wrong. It never seemes to be when you're doing it...but to call it pride?
Someone told me once about judging people as greater than you. It's easy to recognize when you judge those that are failing in an area that you excel...but what about those that appear perfect. That's a judgement as well. We don't know anything about them really. Who are we to judge?
Oh Lord, please remind me when I'm too proud to forgive myself.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
"In this day when shimmering personalities carry on the Lord's work after the methods of the entertainment world it is refreshing to associate for a moment even in the pages of a book with a sincere and humble man who keeps his own personality out of sight and places the emphasis upon the inworking of God. It is our belief that the evangelical movement will continue to drift farther and farther from the New Testament position unless its leadership passes from the modern religious star to the self-effacing saint who asks for no praise and seeks no place, happy only when the glory is attributed to God and himself forgotten...."(Tozer, Of God and Men, 16-18.)
"Happy only when the glory is attributed to God and himself forgotten..."That is the way I want to live my life!
"Happy only when the glory is attributed to God and himself forgotten..."That is the way I want to live my life!
Monday, June 26, 2006
burquas
I've been thinking a lot about clothes recently. Probably because the seasons have changed again and I wish I could afford lots of new ones, but also because I'm assessing the ones that I still have and if they're clothes that I want to wear.
I'm wondering how people see me in these clothes, if I'm revealing too much, if they're attractive and if they should be. How much skin should I show and what would that man walking with his wife and kids at the grocery store think of me if I wore them. Would I cause him to take his eyes off of his wife for a moment?
There was a time that I would feel flattered by a man's wandering eye and a little powerful. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.
A number of years ago, while I was still struggling with the weight I gained during my third pregnancy, I was praying about how to lose the weight. The motivation I used to use just didn't seem right to me anymore. I couldn't reconcile being a follower of Jesus and someone who wanted to catch the eye of men.
On the flip side, I wanted to be attractive to my husband and still do.
I've been thinking about teenage girls and unmarried women too and what a struggle they have. They want to catch the eye of the boys and feel special and noticed. The quickest way to do that is to wear clothes that are sexy and show off their bodies. I know these girls don't necessarily want what the boys are thinking, but they do enjoy the attention,or pretend not to. It must be frustrating for the girls who dress more conservatively, who want to be seen for who they are, not what they look like. They want to be noticed too.
So I started thinking about the women who wear burquas. I saw a lady in a burqua once, at Marine Land. She looked kinda scary, like someone in a ghost costume. I couldn't see her face. I couldn't tell if she was happy or sad. Her children, that were enjoying the ride, couldn't see her joyful expressions. On the other hand, no man could either. They couldn't see her pretty face or any wayward glance she might give them. The burqua completely covered everything that might betray that she was a woman. She belonged to her husband.
I've heard it said that some women who wear burquas enjoy the safety that they bring. These women would never be guilty of causing a man to lust after her. She is safely hidden beneath the burqua.
The long dresses and head coverings of other cultures seem strange to us, but I like what they stand for. They are keeping themselves only for their husbands, not even attempting to catch the eye of anyone else. That's admirable. I wonder if they find it frustrating when other women don't show the same restraint in their clothing choices.
I stood behind a Mennonite family in line at the grocery store. They all wore the plain clothing that Mennonite people often wear. I wondered if it was difficult for the men to divert their eyes from the colorfully dressed women all around them. I wondered too, if their wives felt a little less beautiful. I started to feel ashamed of my t-shirt and pants. It made me think about what it would be like to go shopping beneath a burqua. It might be kind of fun to make faces at people who can't see me and know that every woman is not feeling threatened and every man that's looking is only thinking that I look really strange.
I wonder if there's a happy medium. If there is...I hope to find it.
I'm wondering how people see me in these clothes, if I'm revealing too much, if they're attractive and if they should be. How much skin should I show and what would that man walking with his wife and kids at the grocery store think of me if I wore them. Would I cause him to take his eyes off of his wife for a moment?
There was a time that I would feel flattered by a man's wandering eye and a little powerful. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.
A number of years ago, while I was still struggling with the weight I gained during my third pregnancy, I was praying about how to lose the weight. The motivation I used to use just didn't seem right to me anymore. I couldn't reconcile being a follower of Jesus and someone who wanted to catch the eye of men.
On the flip side, I wanted to be attractive to my husband and still do.
I've been thinking about teenage girls and unmarried women too and what a struggle they have. They want to catch the eye of the boys and feel special and noticed. The quickest way to do that is to wear clothes that are sexy and show off their bodies. I know these girls don't necessarily want what the boys are thinking, but they do enjoy the attention,or pretend not to. It must be frustrating for the girls who dress more conservatively, who want to be seen for who they are, not what they look like. They want to be noticed too.
So I started thinking about the women who wear burquas. I saw a lady in a burqua once, at Marine Land. She looked kinda scary, like someone in a ghost costume. I couldn't see her face. I couldn't tell if she was happy or sad. Her children, that were enjoying the ride, couldn't see her joyful expressions. On the other hand, no man could either. They couldn't see her pretty face or any wayward glance she might give them. The burqua completely covered everything that might betray that she was a woman. She belonged to her husband.
I've heard it said that some women who wear burquas enjoy the safety that they bring. These women would never be guilty of causing a man to lust after her. She is safely hidden beneath the burqua.
The long dresses and head coverings of other cultures seem strange to us, but I like what they stand for. They are keeping themselves only for their husbands, not even attempting to catch the eye of anyone else. That's admirable. I wonder if they find it frustrating when other women don't show the same restraint in their clothing choices.
I stood behind a Mennonite family in line at the grocery store. They all wore the plain clothing that Mennonite people often wear. I wondered if it was difficult for the men to divert their eyes from the colorfully dressed women all around them. I wondered too, if their wives felt a little less beautiful. I started to feel ashamed of my t-shirt and pants. It made me think about what it would be like to go shopping beneath a burqua. It might be kind of fun to make faces at people who can't see me and know that every woman is not feeling threatened and every man that's looking is only thinking that I look really strange.
I wonder if there's a happy medium. If there is...I hope to find it.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Spark People
I have discovered a new web site! http://sparkpeople.com It is sooo cool.
Okay, (surprise, surprise) it's about eating better and exercise. They ask you a bunch of questions when you sign up and then determine how many calories and other nutrients you need in a day, based on your activity level, how much you want to lose etc. (I increased my daily calories by 300, I thought their suggestion was a little low for me)
Then (this is the cool part) they give you a meal plan. You can substitute individual foods, (if you don't eat, or want them) or an entire meal. The meals are so balanced too. There's cookies and icecream!! They even have really yummy recipes.
I hesitated sharing this with you because sometimes these sites just get a bunch of people to sign up for free then tell you that it's getting costly so now it costs $19.97 per month. But this company has a non-profit arm, and this is it.
Check it out, really.
(Am I the only person in the world that gets excited about nutrition and exercise?)
Okay, (surprise, surprise) it's about eating better and exercise. They ask you a bunch of questions when you sign up and then determine how many calories and other nutrients you need in a day, based on your activity level, how much you want to lose etc. (I increased my daily calories by 300, I thought their suggestion was a little low for me)
Then (this is the cool part) they give you a meal plan. You can substitute individual foods, (if you don't eat, or want them) or an entire meal. The meals are so balanced too. There's cookies and icecream!! They even have really yummy recipes.
I hesitated sharing this with you because sometimes these sites just get a bunch of people to sign up for free then tell you that it's getting costly so now it costs $19.97 per month. But this company has a non-profit arm, and this is it.
Check it out, really.
(Am I the only person in the world that gets excited about nutrition and exercise?)
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
No Pain, No Gain
I just had a thought, see what you think...
You know when you make a decision to do something like...quit smoking,lose weight, stop swearing...and then...BAM...something happens and you go back to what you've always done. Well, I started thinking about this in the form of exercise. In order to see improvement you have to work your muscles harder so you need to put more stress on them in order for them to get stronger. I think that's what happens in our walk with God.
Someone said that when you make a decision to follow Jesus, usually you get tested after. Something in your life happens that's difficult, do you lean on Jesus and continue to follow Him or go back to the way you were?
I remember this happening every time I tried to quit smoking. Eventually I anticipated the terrible incident that would "cause" me to start smoking again (who could blame me after all). I think I might have even started a fight or two with my husband just so I had an excuse to start again (hanging my head in shame). The funny thing is that when you begin again and know that you can get through that last thing (fighting with my husband) without giving up, something different, that you weren't expecting, happens.
"Will you serve me even through this?" So many times I didn't and I will probably fail again, but each time God helps me to my feet and I get stronger in my relationship with Him and I remember that He's there to lean on and help me through.
When these times happen I like to sing:
Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for you Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for you my Master
Ready to do your will
I love that song. I think we sang it on Sunday...maybe that's why I'm remembering it right now, but I do like to sing it when I'm passing through the flames. The pain is for a purpose, like labour, or exercise.
NO PAIN, NO GAIN
You know when you make a decision to do something like...quit smoking,lose weight, stop swearing...and then...BAM...something happens and you go back to what you've always done. Well, I started thinking about this in the form of exercise. In order to see improvement you have to work your muscles harder so you need to put more stress on them in order for them to get stronger. I think that's what happens in our walk with God.
Someone said that when you make a decision to follow Jesus, usually you get tested after. Something in your life happens that's difficult, do you lean on Jesus and continue to follow Him or go back to the way you were?
I remember this happening every time I tried to quit smoking. Eventually I anticipated the terrible incident that would "cause" me to start smoking again (who could blame me after all). I think I might have even started a fight or two with my husband just so I had an excuse to start again (hanging my head in shame). The funny thing is that when you begin again and know that you can get through that last thing (fighting with my husband) without giving up, something different, that you weren't expecting, happens.
"Will you serve me even through this?" So many times I didn't and I will probably fail again, but each time God helps me to my feet and I get stronger in my relationship with Him and I remember that He's there to lean on and help me through.
When these times happen I like to sing:
Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for you Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for you my Master
Ready to do your will
I love that song. I think we sang it on Sunday...maybe that's why I'm remembering it right now, but I do like to sing it when I'm passing through the flames. The pain is for a purpose, like labour, or exercise.
NO PAIN, NO GAIN
Monday, April 24, 2006
Why Jesus?
My friend Val from highshcool died on Easter weekend. She left behind her 16 year old daughter, her mom, her 3 siblings and her wife.
My friend Kathy gave the eulogy beautifully. She talked about the stages of Val's life. When she became a Christian, when she became a mother, when she realized that she was gay, when she discovered alternate forms of spirituality, when she married her wife and finally when she "met her maker" and how all of these choices taught her (Kathy) to be tolerant of people's choices because it was their life journey.
Our Pastor spoke on Sunday about how everyone's invited to "the party". Jesus includes everyone, we're all invited. A wonderful message. It made me think of the kids that my son goes to school with, the ones that get into trouble and you don't want your kids to hang out with.
My son did...last Friday. He learned so much about them and had compassion for them and it made me want to bring them all home, and be their mom.
The message made me think of Val too and how she had been invited to "the party" and went and was included. I wonder if it was Jesus that she decided not to follow or just His followers.
It seems that following the followers messes people up. Why did we become Christians anyway? To be apart of a group? To feel included by our peers? I think sometimes we lose our focus on Jesus and start looking at the people around us and what they're doing. Who are we following?
I really knew who I was following when I understood how sinful I was and that I didn't deserve to be forgiven but Jesus forgave me anyway and died for me. It means that I have to look at my sin and recognize that I need forgiveness, not just once, but many times. That's hard to do. I can understand why someone wouldn't want to do that, that's not easy. Isn't it easier to look around and say "well, at least I'm not as bad as her" or insist that there's nothing wrong with you, everyone will just have to accept who you are, the way you are.
It reminded me of what the winner of "The Biggest Loser" said. He said that it was hard to lose the weight that he lost but it's even harder to continue in his changed lifestyle and keep it off.
It shouldn't be that difficult. Jesus loves us! And when we go to Him the shame is but a moment in time, because there's so much love. But even knowing that we still can convince ourselves that we're not worth it, that it's too hard. It made me start to wonder why other religions are easier to be a part of. Are they? If, in that moment that you excepted Jesus, there was someone saying that another path was the reason to live or change your life, would you take it?
Why choose Jesus over everything else? And why would you turn away after knowing Him? Thoughts to ponder...
My friend Kathy gave the eulogy beautifully. She talked about the stages of Val's life. When she became a Christian, when she became a mother, when she realized that she was gay, when she discovered alternate forms of spirituality, when she married her wife and finally when she "met her maker" and how all of these choices taught her (Kathy) to be tolerant of people's choices because it was their life journey.
Our Pastor spoke on Sunday about how everyone's invited to "the party". Jesus includes everyone, we're all invited. A wonderful message. It made me think of the kids that my son goes to school with, the ones that get into trouble and you don't want your kids to hang out with.
My son did...last Friday. He learned so much about them and had compassion for them and it made me want to bring them all home, and be their mom.
The message made me think of Val too and how she had been invited to "the party" and went and was included. I wonder if it was Jesus that she decided not to follow or just His followers.
It seems that following the followers messes people up. Why did we become Christians anyway? To be apart of a group? To feel included by our peers? I think sometimes we lose our focus on Jesus and start looking at the people around us and what they're doing. Who are we following?
I really knew who I was following when I understood how sinful I was and that I didn't deserve to be forgiven but Jesus forgave me anyway and died for me. It means that I have to look at my sin and recognize that I need forgiveness, not just once, but many times. That's hard to do. I can understand why someone wouldn't want to do that, that's not easy. Isn't it easier to look around and say "well, at least I'm not as bad as her" or insist that there's nothing wrong with you, everyone will just have to accept who you are, the way you are.
It reminded me of what the winner of "The Biggest Loser" said. He said that it was hard to lose the weight that he lost but it's even harder to continue in his changed lifestyle and keep it off.
It shouldn't be that difficult. Jesus loves us! And when we go to Him the shame is but a moment in time, because there's so much love. But even knowing that we still can convince ourselves that we're not worth it, that it's too hard. It made me start to wonder why other religions are easier to be a part of. Are they? If, in that moment that you excepted Jesus, there was someone saying that another path was the reason to live or change your life, would you take it?
Why choose Jesus over everything else? And why would you turn away after knowing Him? Thoughts to ponder...
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Check out this program. I caught a part of it this morning and I loved the part about the guy that lived on the street for 5 mos. just to see what it was like and how he could "do" Christianity better. I heard it first on Focus on the Family. He wrote a book called "Under the Overpass". The whole show is here:http://www.listenuptv.com/programs/060205city.shtml
Later in the same show there was a lady who started praying for businesses in her community. Something I've started to do too. Some great ideas here for our community.
Check it Out!
Later in the same show there was a lady who started praying for businesses in her community. Something I've started to do too. Some great ideas here for our community.
Check it Out!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Don't Look Down!
I was thinking about this as I was falling asleep last night. I figured that if I still remembered it by morning, I would write about it, so here I am.
You know how when you're climbing up the side of a cliff and you're doing pretty well close to the ground and as you get higher, people tell you, "don't look down"? Because what happens when you look down? You get scared and you panic and you don't want to go any higher because you've seen how far you have to fall. Some people give up right there and just fall off the side of the cliff, right back to the beginning. Other people get stuck, frozen in place, not wanting to fall, but not wanting to climb either. Other people look down and say "cool, I can see my house from up here, look how far I've come" and continue climbing" (for the record, these people annoy me :) only because I wish I was like that more).
I've found that I've failed many times as I've climbed up the side of the cliff. Sometimes I don't even try, other times I don't get very high before I give up. A few times I've clung to the side, afraid to go further but not wanting to give up the ground I'd won. And once or twice, I've admired the view for a few moments and then I looked down, and I was struck with fear and I started to fall, again. It kind of makes me want to not try anymore. It makes me think that maybe climbing to the top just isn't for me, it's for those people that aren't afraid to fall. It doesn't mean that they won't fall, it just means that they aren't afraid. They're tireless in getting back up and climbing again. Oh to have that courage. That's what I pray for.
You know how when you're climbing up the side of a cliff and you're doing pretty well close to the ground and as you get higher, people tell you, "don't look down"? Because what happens when you look down? You get scared and you panic and you don't want to go any higher because you've seen how far you have to fall. Some people give up right there and just fall off the side of the cliff, right back to the beginning. Other people get stuck, frozen in place, not wanting to fall, but not wanting to climb either. Other people look down and say "cool, I can see my house from up here, look how far I've come" and continue climbing" (for the record, these people annoy me :) only because I wish I was like that more).
I've found that I've failed many times as I've climbed up the side of the cliff. Sometimes I don't even try, other times I don't get very high before I give up. A few times I've clung to the side, afraid to go further but not wanting to give up the ground I'd won. And once or twice, I've admired the view for a few moments and then I looked down, and I was struck with fear and I started to fall, again. It kind of makes me want to not try anymore. It makes me think that maybe climbing to the top just isn't for me, it's for those people that aren't afraid to fall. It doesn't mean that they won't fall, it just means that they aren't afraid. They're tireless in getting back up and climbing again. Oh to have that courage. That's what I pray for.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Prayer Walk
I've started exercising again. I rejuggled my schedule and started walking after the kids get home after school.
In the past I would use this time to focus on something in my life, good or bad. But this time I passed a house. I knew the family that lived there and the trials they've gone through, so as I passed I prayed for them. Then I thought about the rest of the homes on that street and I prayed for them too. I walked through the "downtown" area and prayed for the businesses. I walked past my teenage hangout (closed again) and thought it would be a great place for teens to hang out again, an outreach of some sort. They need to hang out somewhere anyway. I prayed about that too.
I take a different route everyday now and pray for the homes and businesses I pass. I really enjoy the sense of community I feel without even talking to anyone but God.
I'm starting to really like this little town that I used to hate and want to escape.
Maybe you can take a prayer walk through your town or just down your street or as you walk through the stores or restaurants that you regularly go to.
In the past I would use this time to focus on something in my life, good or bad. But this time I passed a house. I knew the family that lived there and the trials they've gone through, so as I passed I prayed for them. Then I thought about the rest of the homes on that street and I prayed for them too. I walked through the "downtown" area and prayed for the businesses. I walked past my teenage hangout (closed again) and thought it would be a great place for teens to hang out again, an outreach of some sort. They need to hang out somewhere anyway. I prayed about that too.
I take a different route everyday now and pray for the homes and businesses I pass. I really enjoy the sense of community I feel without even talking to anyone but God.
I'm starting to really like this little town that I used to hate and want to escape.
Maybe you can take a prayer walk through your town or just down your street or as you walk through the stores or restaurants that you regularly go to.
Friday, March 03, 2006
My Birthday Present
My birthday is a week and a bit away. I was just telling my husband how I usually get a wonderful birthday present from God every year...a taste of spring.
I just checked the long range forcast on the weather network. Guess what? That's right, a taste of spring, double digits. Thanks God! He loves me soooo much!
I just checked the long range forcast on the weather network. Guess what? That's right, a taste of spring, double digits. Thanks God! He loves me soooo much!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
"If Satan can place a thought in your mind-and he can, it isn't much more of a trick for him to make you think it's your idea. If you knew it was Satan, you'd reject the thought, wouldn't you? But when he disgiuses his suggestion as your idea, you are more likely to accept it. That is his primary deception." "Victory Over the Darkness" by Niel T. Anderson
This blew me away and made me start thinking about the thoughts that pop into my head more carefully. I would usually start to get upset or depressed about some of the things that I was thinking about. Last week I was thinking that nobody really liked me and that everything I said was dumb. But when I really looked underneath and questioned if that really was the way that I felt, I realized that it was all a lie, just a thought planted in my mind to defeat me. Once I recognized it, it went away.
I think it's so cool that it could be that simple. Just replace it with the truth, like Jesus did.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Perfectionism
A disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable; especially: the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness.
Source: Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary 2002
I was searching for a way to be perfect. A perfect house, a perfect body, to be a perfect mother and a perfect wife. I stumbled across a web site that I can't find now. There were a bunch of women that struggled with perfectionism. It wasn't what I thought it was. I thought perfectionism was a person that did everything perfectly and always looked and acted perfect. This was a group of women who were afraid to appear imperfect. They may not have looked or acted perfectly, or had perfectly clean and decorated homes, or spoke the correct words at the correct time. Some of them worked very hard at doing that, while others, just hid away from people so as not to appear imperfect. (That would be me, the second group).
There is so much pressure on us to be perfect. We see the perfect models, perfect Martha Stewart types, entertaining and keeping their homes immaculate. Then there's those popular, funny, intelligent people, that everyone wants to be around and be like. Is any of that real?
These people aren't perfect. The perfect model has problems and flaws, she can pick herself apart just like the rest of us. I read about women who needed their homes to be perfect and never let anyone come over because they didn't want their homes to be messed up. Comedians who are so "up" and outgoing on stage come crashing down eventually, leaving their families to deal with the fall out.
I discovered something a little while ago. I have flaws (sounds of shock and amazement fill the room). God forced me to look at those very things I denied were true for so long. It was initially hard to look at and admit, but when I did, I felt free to be just who I am without the pressure of being perfect.
The difficulty comes when I'm around other people. If I forget to pray and spend some time with God first, so He can remind me who I am. I start to look for approval from the wrong place and when I mess up and say the wrong thing, or my hair isn't right, or I spilled coffee on myself, It just starts to matter too much and I feel like a failure. But my Father God knows me and He always loves me and He can see who I am inside.
If I can remember that, the whole world could dessert me because I'll always know that I have Him to turn to, He's always there by my side.
Source: Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary 2002
I was searching for a way to be perfect. A perfect house, a perfect body, to be a perfect mother and a perfect wife. I stumbled across a web site that I can't find now. There were a bunch of women that struggled with perfectionism. It wasn't what I thought it was. I thought perfectionism was a person that did everything perfectly and always looked and acted perfect. This was a group of women who were afraid to appear imperfect. They may not have looked or acted perfectly, or had perfectly clean and decorated homes, or spoke the correct words at the correct time. Some of them worked very hard at doing that, while others, just hid away from people so as not to appear imperfect. (That would be me, the second group).
There is so much pressure on us to be perfect. We see the perfect models, perfect Martha Stewart types, entertaining and keeping their homes immaculate. Then there's those popular, funny, intelligent people, that everyone wants to be around and be like. Is any of that real?
These people aren't perfect. The perfect model has problems and flaws, she can pick herself apart just like the rest of us. I read about women who needed their homes to be perfect and never let anyone come over because they didn't want their homes to be messed up. Comedians who are so "up" and outgoing on stage come crashing down eventually, leaving their families to deal with the fall out.
I discovered something a little while ago. I have flaws (sounds of shock and amazement fill the room). God forced me to look at those very things I denied were true for so long. It was initially hard to look at and admit, but when I did, I felt free to be just who I am without the pressure of being perfect.
The difficulty comes when I'm around other people. If I forget to pray and spend some time with God first, so He can remind me who I am. I start to look for approval from the wrong place and when I mess up and say the wrong thing, or my hair isn't right, or I spilled coffee on myself, It just starts to matter too much and I feel like a failure. But my Father God knows me and He always loves me and He can see who I am inside.
If I can remember that, the whole world could dessert me because I'll always know that I have Him to turn to, He's always there by my side.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Who am I?
Sanford and I have been reading "Victory over the Darkness" by Neil T. Anderson. He compiled this list to describe who you are in Christ.
Who am I?
I am the salt of the earth (Matt. 5:13).
I am the light of the world (Matt.5:14).
I am a child of God (John 1:12).
I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ's life (John 15:15).
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15).
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16).
I am a slave of righteousness (Rom. 6:18).
I am enslaved to God (Rom. 6:22)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father (Rom. 8:14,15; Gal.3:26; 4:6).
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Rom. 8:17).
I am a temple-a dwelling place-of God. His Spirit and His life dwells in me (1Cor. 3:16; 6:19).
I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him (1Cor.6:17)
I am a member of Christ's body (1Cor 12:27; Eph. 5:30).
I am a new creation (2 Cor 5:17).
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18,19)
I am a son of God and one in Christ (Gal 3:26,28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Gal.4:6,7)
I am a saint (Eph.1:1;1 Cor. 1:2; Phil. 1:1; Col. 1:2).
I am God's workmanship-His handiwork-born anew in Christ to do His work (Eph. 2:10).
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God's family (Eph. 2:19).
I am a prisoner of Christ (Eph. 3:1; 4:1).
I am righteous and holy (Eph.4:24)
I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Phil. 3:20; Eph. 2:6).
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:3).
I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Col. 3:4).
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Col. 3:12; 1 Thess. 1:4).
I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thess. 5:5).
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Heb. 3:1).
I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His life (Heb.3:14).
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1Pet. 2:5).
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession (1Pet. 2:9,10).
I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1Pet. 2:11).
I am an enemy of the devil (1Pet. 5:8)
I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns (1 John 3:1,2).
I am born of God, and the evil one-the devil-cannot touch me (1 John 5:18).
I am not the great "I am" (Exod. 3:14; John 8:24,28,58), but by the grace of God, I am what I am (1Cor. 15:10).
Who am I?
I am the salt of the earth (Matt. 5:13).
I am the light of the world (Matt.5:14).
I am a child of God (John 1:12).
I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ's life (John 15:15).
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15).
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16).
I am a slave of righteousness (Rom. 6:18).
I am enslaved to God (Rom. 6:22)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father (Rom. 8:14,15; Gal.3:26; 4:6).
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Rom. 8:17).
I am a temple-a dwelling place-of God. His Spirit and His life dwells in me (1Cor. 3:16; 6:19).
I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him (1Cor.6:17)
I am a member of Christ's body (1Cor 12:27; Eph. 5:30).
I am a new creation (2 Cor 5:17).
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18,19)
I am a son of God and one in Christ (Gal 3:26,28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Gal.4:6,7)
I am a saint (Eph.1:1;1 Cor. 1:2; Phil. 1:1; Col. 1:2).
I am God's workmanship-His handiwork-born anew in Christ to do His work (Eph. 2:10).
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God's family (Eph. 2:19).
I am a prisoner of Christ (Eph. 3:1; 4:1).
I am righteous and holy (Eph.4:24)
I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Phil. 3:20; Eph. 2:6).
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:3).
I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Col. 3:4).
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Col. 3:12; 1 Thess. 1:4).
I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thess. 5:5).
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Heb. 3:1).
I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His life (Heb.3:14).
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1Pet. 2:5).
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession (1Pet. 2:9,10).
I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1Pet. 2:11).
I am an enemy of the devil (1Pet. 5:8)
I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns (1 John 3:1,2).
I am born of God, and the evil one-the devil-cannot touch me (1 John 5:18).
I am not the great "I am" (Exod. 3:14; John 8:24,28,58), but by the grace of God, I am what I am (1Cor. 15:10).
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
I've had this idea in my head for quite awhile, years, almost decades.
I used to really like my job, I was a housekeeper at an old age home. It was a mindless job. Me and God had lots of conversations as I cleaned toilets. One day as we were talking I was thinking about judgments and how people that I knew were judged by people without knowing anything about their lives. As I prayed about this I realized that I did the same thing, many times. The strangers splashed across the headlines, the teacher at school, the angry bully.
I started thinking about these people differently, with some compassion (when I remembered).
This thought came to me the other day. There's a 300lb woman who decided on the first of the year to lose weight, to get healthy. She started to eat properly and went for a daily stroll. She kept reminding herself of her goal. She failed many times, she ate an entire chocolate cake once, but slowly she lost 100lbs. She felt good and she thought she looked good. People that knew her complimented how well she was doing, some thought she was losing too much weight.
One day she was walking down the street and she passed two women talking together, as she passed she could hear one woman say to the other "I hope I never get that fat" The woman was devastated and wondered when her efforts would produce any results. When really, they already had. She improved her health, she was happier, she had inspired many people around her, but these women didn't know that, because they couldn't see how far she'd come.
There's so many people that have a bigger story than what we see and have come much further than we realize, they have farther to go, but they've come so far already. Did you have 150lbs of sin to lose or only 10? I wonder which is more difficult to give up.
I used to really like my job, I was a housekeeper at an old age home. It was a mindless job. Me and God had lots of conversations as I cleaned toilets. One day as we were talking I was thinking about judgments and how people that I knew were judged by people without knowing anything about their lives. As I prayed about this I realized that I did the same thing, many times. The strangers splashed across the headlines, the teacher at school, the angry bully.
I started thinking about these people differently, with some compassion (when I remembered).
This thought came to me the other day. There's a 300lb woman who decided on the first of the year to lose weight, to get healthy. She started to eat properly and went for a daily stroll. She kept reminding herself of her goal. She failed many times, she ate an entire chocolate cake once, but slowly she lost 100lbs. She felt good and she thought she looked good. People that knew her complimented how well she was doing, some thought she was losing too much weight.
One day she was walking down the street and she passed two women talking together, as she passed she could hear one woman say to the other "I hope I never get that fat" The woman was devastated and wondered when her efforts would produce any results. When really, they already had. She improved her health, she was happier, she had inspired many people around her, but these women didn't know that, because they couldn't see how far she'd come.
There's so many people that have a bigger story than what we see and have come much further than we realize, they have farther to go, but they've come so far already. Did you have 150lbs of sin to lose or only 10? I wonder which is more difficult to give up.
Friday, January 13, 2006
In our local newspaper there is a columnist that I enjoy reading. He likes people and interacting with them and he's a good man. He is not a christian. He actually doesn't like the christian faith at all. He began by simply disagreeing and pointing out how christian belief is different from his own, but it's been getting progressively more angry. I've been tempted to write him back, defending my beliefs but I didn't want my anger to confirm what he believes about christians. So, I prayed for him.
I heard a radio pastor say that we shouldn't assume that we know where someone is in their spiritual walk, because when we think someone is far from the truth, they could actually be very close. I thought about how angry I got sometimes when I was confronted with the truth. Once my anger cooled, I could see that the offending people were right. I really hate it when that happens. Then I have to admit that I was wrong. Who wants to do that? It's easier to prove that I'm right. Jesus always finds a way to break through all of that though. I'm thinking that's what he's doing with this columnist. I'll continue to pray for both him and my own understanding.
I heard a radio pastor say that we shouldn't assume that we know where someone is in their spiritual walk, because when we think someone is far from the truth, they could actually be very close. I thought about how angry I got sometimes when I was confronted with the truth. Once my anger cooled, I could see that the offending people were right. I really hate it when that happens. Then I have to admit that I was wrong. Who wants to do that? It's easier to prove that I'm right. Jesus always finds a way to break through all of that though. I'm thinking that's what he's doing with this columnist. I'll continue to pray for both him and my own understanding.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Blenders
Okay, this might seem like a ridiculous thing to write about but I feel compelled to share.
I love learning about and implementing good nutrition in my life. I read labels, balance meals, bother people with endless details about what is in that disgusting thing they're eating. Not that I don't eat disgusting things myself, sometimes disgusting tastes so goood.
Anyway, the new year is upon us and one of my annual/seasonal goals is to eat well. Which of course means that my family will eat well, but eating well doesn't please every member of my family at every meal which is where the blender comes in. http://www.whfoods.com has wonderful foods listed that my children will not eat but when I blend them into spaghetti sauce, or soup they can hardly tell that it's there.
Smoothies are also a fabulous way to add extra fruits to your diet. My ingenious husband discovered that a mason jar fits on our blender blade very well. They come in a variety of sizes so they're perfect for single servings (I've also read that some mayonnaise jars also work, I haven't tried one though). All of those browning bananas, that I used to throw out, go into my freezer to bake with or add to a smoothie (any frozen fruit will work, blueberries are especially healthy, full of antioxidants)
It has been so frustrating trying to get my kids to eat wonderful foods like squash and spinach, but now I have a secret weapon and I really wanted to share it.
Stop rolling your eyes! It's very good information!
Okay, I'm done.
I love learning about and implementing good nutrition in my life. I read labels, balance meals, bother people with endless details about what is in that disgusting thing they're eating. Not that I don't eat disgusting things myself, sometimes disgusting tastes so goood.
Anyway, the new year is upon us and one of my annual/seasonal goals is to eat well. Which of course means that my family will eat well, but eating well doesn't please every member of my family at every meal which is where the blender comes in. http://www.whfoods.com has wonderful foods listed that my children will not eat but when I blend them into spaghetti sauce, or soup they can hardly tell that it's there.
Smoothies are also a fabulous way to add extra fruits to your diet. My ingenious husband discovered that a mason jar fits on our blender blade very well. They come in a variety of sizes so they're perfect for single servings (I've also read that some mayonnaise jars also work, I haven't tried one though). All of those browning bananas, that I used to throw out, go into my freezer to bake with or add to a smoothie (any frozen fruit will work, blueberries are especially healthy, full of antioxidants)
It has been so frustrating trying to get my kids to eat wonderful foods like squash and spinach, but now I have a secret weapon and I really wanted to share it.
Stop rolling your eyes! It's very good information!
Okay, I'm done.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Have you ever felt like crawling into a cave and hiding from the world? I've just recently started emerging from my cave. It's been about a year now and it's very uncomfortable.
I've been dealing with some difficult stuff and confronting myself about my part in them.
I don't think Satan likes that too much. He wants me to retreat, to hide. Normally, that's what I'd do. That's what makes me feel better. As much as I would love to hide and retreat I feel God nudging me forward. I believe life is going to get more uncomfortable real soon. It scares me, but I know that I need to grow to be useful to God.
So here I am Lord! Please help me stay on the path, whatever comes my way.
I've been dealing with some difficult stuff and confronting myself about my part in them.
I don't think Satan likes that too much. He wants me to retreat, to hide. Normally, that's what I'd do. That's what makes me feel better. As much as I would love to hide and retreat I feel God nudging me forward. I believe life is going to get more uncomfortable real soon. It scares me, but I know that I need to grow to be useful to God.
So here I am Lord! Please help me stay on the path, whatever comes my way.
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