I've been thinking a lot about clothes recently. Probably because the seasons have changed again and I wish I could afford lots of new ones, but also because I'm assessing the ones that I still have and if they're clothes that I want to wear.
I'm wondering how people see me in these clothes, if I'm revealing too much, if they're attractive and if they should be. How much skin should I show and what would that man walking with his wife and kids at the grocery store think of me if I wore them. Would I cause him to take his eyes off of his wife for a moment?
There was a time that I would feel flattered by a man's wandering eye and a little powerful. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.
A number of years ago, while I was still struggling with the weight I gained during my third pregnancy, I was praying about how to lose the weight. The motivation I used to use just didn't seem right to me anymore. I couldn't reconcile being a follower of Jesus and someone who wanted to catch the eye of men.
On the flip side, I wanted to be attractive to my husband and still do.
I've been thinking about teenage girls and unmarried women too and what a struggle they have. They want to catch the eye of the boys and feel special and noticed. The quickest way to do that is to wear clothes that are sexy and show off their bodies. I know these girls don't necessarily want what the boys are thinking, but they do enjoy the attention,or pretend not to. It must be frustrating for the girls who dress more conservatively, who want to be seen for who they are, not what they look like. They want to be noticed too.
So I started thinking about the women who wear burquas. I saw a lady in a burqua once, at Marine Land. She looked kinda scary, like someone in a ghost costume. I couldn't see her face. I couldn't tell if she was happy or sad. Her children, that were enjoying the ride, couldn't see her joyful expressions. On the other hand, no man could either. They couldn't see her pretty face or any wayward glance she might give them. The burqua completely covered everything that might betray that she was a woman. She belonged to her husband.
I've heard it said that some women who wear burquas enjoy the safety that they bring. These women would never be guilty of causing a man to lust after her. She is safely hidden beneath the burqua.
The long dresses and head coverings of other cultures seem strange to us, but I like what they stand for. They are keeping themselves only for their husbands, not even attempting to catch the eye of anyone else. That's admirable. I wonder if they find it frustrating when other women don't show the same restraint in their clothing choices.
I stood behind a Mennonite family in line at the grocery store. They all wore the plain clothing that Mennonite people often wear. I wondered if it was difficult for the men to divert their eyes from the colorfully dressed women all around them. I wondered too, if their wives felt a little less beautiful. I started to feel ashamed of my t-shirt and pants. It made me think about what it would be like to go shopping beneath a burqua. It might be kind of fun to make faces at people who can't see me and know that every woman is not feeling threatened and every man that's looking is only thinking that I look really strange.
I wonder if there's a happy medium. If there is...I hope to find it.
2 comments:
I hope that whatever each of these women wear, that they are happy in where they are. I think I'd rather wear the plain clothes of the Mennonite women, rather than the burqua. I just can't imagine how they much feel in heat. Wearing this style of dress may be admirable for those who desire to do so for their husbands, but I can't help wondering how many are forced to wear them or what other things are hidden...? It would indeed be nice to see more women showing greater restraint in their clothing choices, or at least in all they choose to reveal. I think I could be happy in the longer styled dresses of the prairie days, but I must admit, I do enjoy my jeans.
By the way Mo, I think you always look attractive!!
Thanks Donna!
I'm concerned that many of those women may be forced to wear those clothes too...but I started thinking that I might be a little judgemental, just because they're different.
I'm trying to remember, when I see someone that's different from me, to imagine what it might be like to be them. Then they become just people, no different from me.
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