"Never look down on anybody unless you are helping him up.- Jesse Jackson

Lending a helping hand

It is easy to get down on someone when you aren't in their shoes. Often we throw in our two cents when it is not only unwanted, but also unhelpful and useless. Resist the temptation to waste your breath on pointless criticism at someone else's expense. Don't give advice to people unless it is asked for, lest you belittle them and come off looking like a know-it-all. Instead, examine ways you could help that person. Rather than continuously feeling irked by a coworker's mistakes, could you lend a hand or explain a task to her in a respectful way? You never know when the shoe will be on the other proverbial foot. Help others and one day it might come back to you. "

I just read this today and realized just how much I do this...become critical instead of helping, use judgmental words instead of encouraging ones. As a christian, I find that instead of simply giving a situation to God, I keep it and try to fix it myself without even seeking God's guidance. I hate it when people do that to me.

Figures... the first person I always have to change is myself...hmmpf!

Not long ago I won an argument with my son. I'm a better arguer. I won...but I wasn't right and I told him so.

It made me think about all of the arguments people have. If you're smarter does that mean you're right, or does it just mean you're smart enough to win an argument? Or that you just have better communication skills to get your point across.

Is it more important to win? Sometimes you may be surprised by people who have less knowledge and fewer verbal skills. It just might be one of them that's right.

Great Expectations...

It seems my thoughts keep returning to Great Expectations. No, not the book, the idea.
I've been thinking about how people have expectations of us and how we try to live up to them, even our own expectations of ourselves. People have expectations based on what they think they know about us and what they think we can accomplish. Some people think that people will live up to the expectations that we have of them (if we set the bar high, people will try harder, if we set the bar low, people will only attain that level of achievement). When and if we fail, the view people have of us is tainted, respect is lost and it's difficult to regain.
We want people to like us and respect us and to think highly of our abilities but really, is that realistic?
God knows us completely, He knows our skills and what we can do. If we fail, He has mercy and grace to forgive us and He's there to help us try again. His expectations are high but He's there to lean on and help us through.
I prefer to live up to His expectations and even fail and try again for Him because God is just and fair and His discipline, though hard, is always exactly right and consistent.
My Dad always quotes St. Augustine:
"Love God and do what you like"
because if you love Him, really love Him, you would only do what pleases Him and for no other reason. Not because someone's watching, or someone might think badly of me, just because it pleases Him and for no other reason.
When I remember that my self consciousness disappears and I can simply be who I am, because that's who He made me to be anyway.
I guess that's what He's been trying to tell me..."Who's expectations are you trying to live up to? Who's praise really matters? Who are you living for?"

Only Him.

I have a few things that I wanted to write about, but as usual, when I have a moment to write something all the things that I wanted to say are suddenly gone. I hate that.
I know the first thing was about a song that I used to sing in church when I was a kid. I think it was written by St. Francis of Assisi. How did it go again...? Darn! Those Cheetah girls are singing in the background, how can you remember a song when another song is being sung? Baaaah! Oh...forget it!
I'll talk about shoe day. I was thinking about Em heading to school and I wanted to make sure she could put on her shoes without assistance, I also thought it was high time that Sir David learned to tie his shoes. So...I declared it shoe day.
Em and David weren't so thrilled about shoe day, especially not in the midst of it...A lot of frustration and tears...but we persevered and made it through successfully, nay triumphantly! My children are so proud of their accomplishments and will gladly show you how it's done at a moments notice. So go ahead and ask them.
Today was the third day that we visited the school. Today was just to see the class lists and who all the kids were in their classes. Yesterday we went to see the class lists, but they weren't posted yet. David asked if we could go see the classrooms anyway (he was so disappointed) so we walked upstairs and saw his teacher from last year. She was so happy to see us because David was going to be in her class...YAY! We really like her a lot and we were able to find out David's teacher and tour his new classroom when moments before it was such a disappointing trip. We started walking home when David suggested that we visit the kinderpak to see Em's teacher, I told him that it was probably empty and usually locked, but we tried anyway. We knocked on the door and surprise, surprise...a teacher was there...it was Em's teacher...we got to meet her...Yay again! Everybody's so excited about starting school. Day number one was just disappointing...no class list and none of the teacher's were divulging anything...oh well, it all turned out for the best, God is good.

Ooh, I remembered the song...I mean hymn...I googled it...

A hymn by St Francis of Assisi:

Make me a channel of your peace:
where there is hatred let me bring your love,
where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
and where there's doubt, true faith in you:
O Master grant that I may never seek
so much to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved, as to love with all my soul!
Make me a channel of your peace:
where there's despair in life let me bring hope,
where there is darkness, only light,
and where there's sadness, ever joy:
Make me a channel of your peace:
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
in giving of ourselves that we receive,
and in dying that we're born to eternal life.
Make me a channel of your peace:
where there is hatred let me bring your love,
where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
and where there's doubt, true faith in you.

I used to sing this all the time but I never really understood the words and when I became a Christian I left my Catholic heritage behind, so I stopped singing this song. It came to my mind the other day while I was painting, it has a pretty melody and I really listened to the words that I was singing, Wow! I never knew...I guess I should have a little more respect for the heritage passed on to me.

"Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged." Helen Keller
What a wise lady...

"When we have difficulty forgiving ourselves, this is pride at its deepest level. We are making an assumption that we should never have sinned and that we are too mature to sin. This is a trap from the enemy of our souls. People who cannot forgive do not recognize from what they have been forgiven. That includes us." Os Hillman

I always find it uncomfortable when something as insignigicant like unforgiveness for yourself is flipped around and turned into something wrong. It never seemes to be when you're doing it...but to call it pride?

Someone told me once about judging people as greater than you. It's easy to recognize when you judge those that are failing in an area that you excel...but what about those that appear perfect. That's a judgement as well. We don't know anything about them really. Who are we to judge?

Oh Lord, please remind me when I'm too proud to forgive myself.

"In this day when shimmering personalities carry on the Lord's work after the methods of the entertainment world it is refreshing to associate for a moment even in the pages of a book with a sincere and humble man who keeps his own personality out of sight and places the emphasis upon the inworking of God. It is our belief that the evangelical movement will continue to drift farther and farther from the New Testament position unless its leadership passes from the modern religious star to the self-effacing saint who asks for no praise and seeks no place, happy only when the glory is attributed to God and himself forgotten...."(Tozer, Of God and Men, 16-18.)
"Happy only when the glory is attributed to God and himself forgotten..."That is the way I want to live my life!